Monday, January 28, 2008

so. i finally figured it out...

i was taking a shower a few minutes ago and figured it out. and luckily i didn't forget about it while i was freezing my ass off on the way back from the shower.

so. the address thing. it's not because i don't trust anyone or i'm scared i'll pick up some weird stalker or something. it's because i don't like asking for things. if you're a good friend and we're driving down the road together and a really cool motorcycle goes by i'll joking say "oooh, buy me one". ditto the macbook air. but it's okay to ask for one because i know you'll not really buy one for me.

anyways, i don't make anywhere near as much money as i'd LIKE to make, especially at my civilian job (i'd like to make enough to spoil myself rotten), but i make more than enough usually. so last night right after i typed my thing about hot/cold bandages i surfed over to and immediately ordered some. it wasn't that i wanted anyone to buy me some, i just wanted them last night. it was just how we were raised. it was rude to ask for things. and as i grew up, and mostly put myself through college, and bought my own house while people around me my age and younger are sponging off their parents, i started to take pride in that.

i've asked for stuff in the past. last deployment the internet sucked, and i didn't have ready access to it initially. so it was "hey chris, go find this style earplug only with a cord on it and buy/send me a pair please", and the deployment before it was "dad, please go find me some l.e.d. flashlights, one red, one white that take standard batteries please". at first i thought the difference there was a) one was family and b) the other knows that i'd send him anything in a heartbeat if he deployed, but that's not it. the difference is that i know that they'd ask if they ever needed anything. and the "need" thing. i don't really NEED anything that i don't already have. from time to time there are things that i want, out of boredome or for creature comforts. because we really are spoiled as americans. we've got a small shop here, and if i can't find whatever i want there, i've got an okay internet connection. i can order something and have it shipped to me without putting anybody out. i'm making good money, it's not like i can't afford it, so there's really no good reason for me to ask for things. if i did, i'd just be a mooch, trying to take advantage of the situation and your generousity. with the exception of tastykakes.

so. the flipside? lori tells me that people NEED to send things. and that i'm an ass for not letting them. okay, i might've paraphrased with the "you're an ass" part, she's much too polite to say that, but i got her drift. so i really, really appreciate all the offers. seriously, i must be maturing because i finally understand what my parents meant when they said "it's the thought that counts" when we were kids. "no it doesn't. it's a crappy present. i don't want socks. i wanted a thundercat! screw the thought!" and i'm not trying to be coy and i'm not slyly asking for things. i'm an e-6 with a fair amount of time in, making decent pay. there's that poor e-1 with a wife and 4 kids who are home struggling to make ends me. he's the guy that i'm publishing my list of ideas to buy things for. or the kid stuck way out in the middle of nowhere, with a semi trailer for a PX and no internet connection to speak of. or the kid who's away from the hometown where he grew up, with no familiy to speak of who never gets any mail and who is really starting to feel lonely and unloved and maybe a little unworthy. those guys need carepackages from groups like lori's and

so thanks alot. and sorry if i'm coming across as an ass or sending mixed messages.


Blogger TC said...

How about you look at it this way too... there are a lot of us who would like to send things - and no one specifically to send them to. So even though we'd love to help out, we have no place to send them.

You COULD receive and distribute you know. You wouldn't have to keep EVERYTHING sent to you.

Just a suggestion :)

11:59 AM  
Blogger leelee said...

I get it...but still IF you DO need anything..or whatever...I'd be happy to help.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

okay I understand, but if something does change and you need something OR you know someone who could us some help, please let us know.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

Yes Sean, I agree it's nice knowing we could make your deployment a little more's not a weakness to let others do for you.
I tried calling your number but was not able to get through. Darn!!

7:11 PM  
Blogger Jason Plett said...

Well put.

6:20 AM  
Blogger Law Girl said...

We could send you a Thundercat instead of crappy socks...ya know?

6:38 AM  
Blogger Paige Jennifer said...

Jesus, it's about time you owned up to acting like an ASS. Now excuse me while I FINALLY get up off mine and buy those Tastykakes I've been yapping about. Oh, and I'm totally making you a mix tape. It's so seventh grade but whatevs. Blame yourself - you went and thanked me for an intro to some rockin' tunes.

12:53 PM  
Blogger The Red said...

My boyfriend was deployed last fall/winter and only asked for two things at the beginning of his deployment - a beach towel and swim goggles. He was stationed at the only AFB in the Middle East with a pool.

After that he didn't ask for anything. I sent him stuff anyway because there was always something in a gift shop or gas station that made me think he'd get a laugh. A little hand-held fan that lights up with his favorite baseball team's logo. A bobblehead Daisy Duke (played by Jessica Simpson). My personal favorite was a craft-show find - a Christmas tree mounted in a Bud Light bottle and decorated with bottlecap ornaments. Cost a bit to send it, but he put it out for everyone to see and I was the most popular girlfriend no one had ever met.

He never would have asked for THAT, let me tell you.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Loving Annie said...

Hi again Sean,
It is nice to be able to give - and receive in return. Sometimes independence is just another way to say I don't want you in my life - I won't let you in...

See how each of our baggage affects us ???

I can see it one way, you can see it another - the feelings are different, the motivations, the responses...

I'd be taken aback if I spent my time/thoughts/car and sent something to someone and they gave it to someone else - unless they had told me from the get-go it was FOR someone else...

But I gather that Tasykakes are an exception to all these rules :)

3:58 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

You know Sean, some in the blogging world say you really aren't a true blogger unless you have at least one psycho stalker...I've got more than my you are welcome to one of em lol

4:09 PM  

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