simple my ass!

i was reading a copy of the newsletter that our unit sends to our friends and family back in the states. and we're getting closer and closer to coming home, so they're writing these articles intended to help everyone re-integrate. i'm not sure if it's original material, or if they're copying it from some army manual or website. but what is irking the hell out of me right now is that one section keeps referring to what we're going through as a "simple life" or "simple way of life" and saying it's going to take some adjustment to get used to the "complicated lifestyle" back home. i know what they are trying to say. they're trying to say that we don't worry about alot of extraneous things, cars, insurance, house payments, work, etc. that we're focused on a specific mission here and our lives revolve around that. eat, sleep and work army. but it's really, really insulting for some reason and i can't let it go.

call it a "focused life" or a "distraction free" life. call it an "army life" or alot of other things but do not call this simple. and to be honest "distraction free" and "focused" aren't accurate. let's go with "different". how about that? guys over here are worrying about the same things as they are back home. their wives (actually, i'm being sexist. girls are over here as well, so add "husbands"), their kids, the future, cars, sex, money, the outcome of whatever pro-sports game... people worry about relationships with their friends and co-workers over here, with their bosses and with their subordinates. but let me tell you what, screw up at most jobs at home and the worst that happens is you get fired. maybe you lose some money for the company. screw up over here and you die, and even worse, people around you might die as well. even worse than that, you live and they die because of your screw-up. that's not simple. there are low ranking people who are new to the army who don't really have alot of responsibilities over here. there are older people who are close to getting out and retiring who avoid responsibilities. but there are plenty of people in between who sweat bullets on a daily if not hourly basis because of the high level of stress over here.

we weren't here too long when my boss decided to stay home one mission. not because he was a lazy ass, but because he had that much confidence in me and the people riding along and he had tons of work to do. of course that was one of the first times we hit an i.e.d. you think the guilt hasn't torn him up since? no one was hurt, but for months after that, he insisted on going on every trip with us. and was burning the candle at both ends. finally we got him to realize that if we got hit or not, it would have very little to do with whether or not he was on the road, and he was needed elsewhere. and while he understands that? if we get hit again, and this time someone gets injured or killed, do you think he'll feel any less guilt? and the ENTIRE time that i'm preaching to him to stay home, i'm insisting that i have to go along, because i think i might be able to help if something goes bad.

i've been a reservist for almost seven years now. that means most of the time i'm home working a civilian job. i tell you, this job is amazingly complicated compared to that. the only complicated part about that, is that alot of those people don't realize how easy they have it (at work that is). they have nothing but what they are going through for perspective and they manufacture stress. the first year that i was back from afghanistan? i was so mellow, and laughed at those guys. they didn't realize how petty so much of the stuff they were arguing and worrying about was. how in the grand scheme of things, it really didn't matter. a printer isn't working today? big freaking deal. you're still alive aren't you? making a good salary? in decent health? not dodging bullets? not trying to stay hydrated in 140 degree weather without an a/c? didn't wake up this morning to see a HUGE spider crawling across your sleeping bag while you were still in it? didn't see a busload of school aged kids hit a land mine and have to help get the wounded to the CASH? didn't have a ten year old walk up to a group less than 100 feet from where you were standing and try and kill them with an RPG round that didn't detonate because he was too short and it didn't go off when he dropped it on softer sand? didn't spend the night trying to figure out how a parent could knowingly send his child on a suicide mission? didn't stand in line to take a cold shower in the dark? didn't have to take a pill the size of a dime and that gives you awful nightmares to try to ward off malaria? aren't going to have to wait 3 weeks to get replacements parts for that printer? can actually walk across the street and buy a new one? yeah. you're doing okay. i came over here to be a communcations guy. sounds simple enough. however, as the year has gone on, i've become the training guy, the operations guy, the supply guy, at times the personnel and the maintenance guy. i've become the contract agent, the local purchase agent, i've had someone hand me an insanely large amount of cash to use for local purchase and been told that my career could be over if i lost any of it, and wasn't given a safe to lock it in. tomorrow i'm going to lead a training session in how to get an injured buddy out of a burning vehicle while under fire. this is WAY more complicated.

anyways, i'm ranting and raving. the person who called this "simple" sure as hell isn't going to be reading this anytime soon. so it's pointess to keep going. and while he/she/it needs a swift kick to the jimmy, i probably won't be the one to administer it. but i do feel marginally better for expressing my pisstivity. thanks.