is the handshakes. in the civilian world it seems that the only people i shake hands with are smarmy salespeople. rarely do i bump into a good friend and shake hands with them. when i was on active duty i worked with a group of guys everyday. anywhere from 6-12 of us. with that really close bunch we just razzed one another, shook hands if we saw one another socially outside of work, or if someone went on leave, when they came back you might have a big shake. those guys were family we saw one another so much. we laughed and joked and worked our asses off together. then we went out and played hard on the weekends. married guys would wake up and come out to their living room and find the rest of the crew passed out on their living room floor from the night night before, wives cooked for us, kids thought we were their uncles. but there were other guys who i didn't work with but i saw everyday. it was always a big deal, the handshake, even though i'd just seen them the day before. so much was conveyed with that. mutual respect and admiration, joy at seeing a friend again, all that kind of stuff. you didn't do it with everyone, he had to be a good troop.
downrange it's the same thing, but to a new level. there are guys here that i see every so often and we have a big shake or a hug. it's great to see those guys. it means they haven't been shot by a sniper or an ambush hasn't gotten them, an i.e.d. hasn't blown up their truck while they were on the road, they weren't rocketed or mortared. and (more importantly in my mind) neither was i. they say the handshake and the salute evolved from ancient times when you'd show someone your open hand to let them see that you weren't holding a weapon. in the military we're supposed to salute our commissioned officers, but i work in a very small, tight-knit group, so the officers do the hand-shake thing as well.
it's hard to explain without sounding like a freak. but if you've been reading the blog for awhile, you've already decided i'm a freak so maybe you can get past that part and see what i'm trying to say. in the day-to-day civilian world i don't form that connection with someone. i have friends, but whether i'd trust them with my life... and to be able to sum that trust and respect and fondness up in one simple gesture is just amazing. i'm glad i've been able to experience it.
9 comments:
I had this poem hanging up in my home for ages...
I took it down 5 years ago when we moved, but your post brought it to mind again today.
Thanks for the reminder, and your sentiments are not silly or unusual.
Well, I've said enough...I'll let the poet finish :)
'Tis the human touch in this world that counts,
The touch of your hand and mine,
Which means far more to the fainting heart,
Than shelter and bread and wine;
For shelter is gone when the night is o'er,
And bread lasts only a day,
But the touch of the hand and the sound of the voice
Sing on in the soul always.
Spencer Michael Free
Cora..I love that...thanks for sharing it.
Cora,
thanks so much for sharing that poem. it really sums up what i was trying to say.
I totally understand what you're saying...not military but worked for a law enforcement agency (not sworn). I don't miss the handshakes as much as I miss the laughter AND something else, something crucial.
In the corporate sector, there is often so much emphasis on the most mundane, idiotic things. When I worked in law enforcement, it was cut and dried. As long as no one died, it was still a good day. Anything else, short of serious bodily injury, could be fixed.
I miss working with people who really have their heads screwed on straight and their priorities in focus.
You are, of course, so welcome :)
I never would have thought I'd be sending that one to a soldier in Iraq one day! :)
Handshakes? Something tells me you aint in Texas.
trouble...
you have your stock answers for questions that keep popping up in life. one of mine for why i like the army so much, is that when i go to the bar with army guys and we're having a beer and arguing about work, usually our arguments have life or death impacts. what type of equipment we should be using, what type of tactics, whether someone should be promoted or not. once we get past oogling the girls and gossip and car and sports talk and get down to serious work talk, the talk is just that. serious. in my civilian job i travel alot and find myself sitting at resteraunt bars alone listening in on conversations around me. and the drama people manufacture in their lives to get excited about...
bigwhitehat. no, denver. people in my apartment complex look at me like i'm diseased if i say "hi" or "good evening" to them when i pass them at the mailbox.
You said:
"people in my apartment complex look at me like i'm diseased if i say "hi" or "good evening" to them when i pass them at the mailbox."
I have heard this about people in other places in the country too...
I guess living in the south does make a difference. I speak to just about everyone, and everyone speaks back. I am a social person by nature, so that helps, but if I spoke to someone and they blew me off I'd probably be like Brier Rabbit with the Tar Baby and want to know why they were being snooty! (good story...really!:) ha ha.
It would be hard for me to live someplace where the culture was that different. Of course I think people like that are just plain rude...but God bless those Yankees and the folks on the left coast!
(I'm kidding here, kind of! ;)
cora. i know. i miss the south. just gotta find a job there. part of my problem is pride though, i feel i worth a company picking up the tab for relocation expenses...
when i went home in oct i spent a month in columbia and was reminded of how friendly people were, how much slower things moved... it was great.
julie... hijack away! i think that's what we do here. i know i babble on endlessly when i'm replying to people. crowds are one of my bigger fears here. there've been stories about youngsters not paying attention and having their sidearms taken away from them. i've had to stiff-arm a couple people to get them away from me and give myself room to move. and the handshake thing definately worries me, especially when you get into the crowd like that.
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