today was a weird day...

... something set me off early this morning, and although i knew it was amazingly immature, i was just angry all day. to the point where i couldn't be productive at ANYTHING because i couldn't stop ranting and raving in my head. i was constantly having to bite my toungue and *bleep* myself because i knew that my initial responses to people all day weren't appropriate, that i was tempted to make smart-assed comments and take my rage out on them. above all, i pride myself on maintaining professionalism and staying cool in stressful situations. and then, out of the blue, i saw someone who just put me in a good mood. i'm still irritated when i think about a couple things, but i'm breathing again, and i'm walking around without clenched fists.

then i got an email from a really good friend who i was on active duty with years ago. she used to live in the barracks across the hall from me. she left active duty about a year and a half before i did, and then came back into the reserves a year or so after me. i went to afghanistan first, but she followed last year. it's just amazing how much she "gets it". i've got some apprehensions about going home, re-adjusting. i'm not an amazingly social person to begin with, and there are lots of conversations about what happens over here that i really don't want to have with people at home. and i don't want to have the same ones over and over and over. there are lots of other things, i'm just glossing over them here. but just seeing that she's been through it already, she's surviving it, she understands alot of my desires to just say "screw it" and find a way to volunteer to just say here makes me feel less like a green freak with a horn growing out of his forehead. and having a close friend offer to be there for you when things get a little freaky in your head is always nice.

so it's just weird to go from so much hate and anger to just a warm, fuzzy feeling.