"it ain't the years, it's the mileage"

i might've butchered indy's quote, but i hope not.

my birthday is this month and i'm feeling everyone of my years and more. i was not a graceful kid. and i haven't really outgrown much of my clumsiness. (on a side note, the whole "why don't guys dance?" question? in my case, it's a real inability to get my body to do what i want it to do, that lack of grace. i feel stupid, i know i look stupid, and i sincerely worry about the health and safety of all around me. if you can dance you'll have NO idea what i'm talking about, just accept it and don't lecture.) so my body suffered much abuse over the years and i pay for it daily. cracked ribs, broken ankle, toes, fingers, torn rotator cuffs, cartilage peeling on the knees, that kinda stuff. when i was younger i was active enough that i guess muscles around problem areas compensated. but when i left active duty, got a little older, worked out a little less, sat on my ass in front of a computer at work a WHOLE lot more...

this tour has been a little constant reminder of things that hurt now. working night shift used to be no big deal, i could flip my sleep schedule on a moment's notice. now it takes me days to recover. do we need to talk about running? (it is what brought this all about. went for the first time in 2 weeks today. used to be able to take 2 weeks off, and pick back up and run five miles at the same pace without thinking about it. today i ran 2 miles, almost killed myself and did it with an average of 2.5 minutes per mile slower).

it's not all bad. i definately think more. before i open my big, big mouth. before i perform alot of actions... "huh, which path causes the least amount of physical pain for me?", things like that. it's good to know that i at least have the ability to learn...

anyways, i'm not going anywhere with this. just hadn't written in awhile and felt like a) rambling and b) not doing trig homework. but i can procrastinate no more.... (hah, yes, yes i can. and i probably will. just not in this manner).