i suppose this is a question everyone has to answer. is it purely for interaction? to entertain? to sort stuff out that's bouncing around in your own? free therapy? i have been having some writer's block lately and i'm not 100% sure where it comes from. back before anybody read this, it was easy to just ramble on about anything. but then a couple people started reading and expressed interest to hear the soldier's point of view from iraq. i'm not there anymore, and i personally find my day-to-day life to be insanely boring, so putting it out there for others just seems to be a cruel torture. but then i like reading about other peoples' stuff, and i'm sure to them it seems boring, sooooo...
that's not the only cause for the block. it's just one of those streams of thoughts that bounces around. and then in addition to the inability to write, there's also timing. my role back home is alot more active than it was before i left, and it's engaging me on more fronts.
having said ALL of that, there are probably going to be a couple of posts today, time permitting. totally random stuff, of course.
so. dream update. i recently started a new medication, and oddly enough, it's affecting me in a couple ways. *tmfi follows* 1) my sex drive. on the one hand, i'm not really having sex, so it shouldn't really matter right? but when you've been a freak-perv your whole life, and then all of a sudden you stop thinking about it constantly, you're kinda left with this huge gaping void to fill. and it weirds you out. *end of tmfi* 2) dreams. i've been tossing and turning lately, waking up a couple times a night, and oddly enough, for like, 30 seconds after i wake up, i'm aware that something was going on. that it wasn't just a blank screen. i don't remember any details at all, but i'm aware that just as i was waking up, there was dialogue going on that i was listening to. either that, or people are talking over my head and hide from sight just as i wake up. i'm sticking with the dreaming thing because it's a little less paranoid sounding. 3) i'm focusing better, but not necessarily on the right things. i'm just focusing on whatever is in front of me at the time. so if it's screwing around, then i just focus better on screwing around. if it's work, then i focus better on work.
7 comments:
Boo to low sex drive.
word to chris.
That's funny, I had a similar "why?" post on my site about three weeks ago (and if you like, you can read it here.)
However, I didn't get into all the other weirdnesses. (Don't need to, I have my *OWN* set of weirdnesses, thank you.)
;-]
Writer's block...I think all of "us bloggers" suffer from it. For me, it seems like my most brilliant thoughts and stories I want to write come at a time when I don't have time to blog. Then I sometimes feel obligated to put "something" on there to give the few readers I have something to read.
I finally realized my blog is something I enjoy, and hopefully readers will come. I blog when I can, don't when I don't, and no longer worry about the in between.
Good luck with the new meds, and keep blogging, we enjoy reading.
Actually, Sean, a couple of years ago, I hit my sexual peak. Trust me when i say the opposite is just as weird. For a number of years there, sex with my (not very good in the sack) ex-husband had been about as exciting as moldy cheese, and then suddenly, I'm horny day and night, and lusting after 18-year-old sackers at the grocery store.
Yikes. I felt REALLY ashamed until I talked to a couple other women my same age who confessed that they too were stalking the boys at the grocery store (and elsewhere).
You should mention that side-effect to your doctor, btw. They might be able to switch your meds to an alternative that won't have that same side effect.
And, just FYI...your blog never bores me. So, no worries. The only thing that ever bores me is when my favorites don't post for several days and I'm left twiddling my thumbs in my office wondering how I'm going to entertain myself for the next 4 hours.
WORD to Trouble.
It's really ironic that I had a similar post recently about "why I blog" and "why and how it possibly got started". Great minds think alike, therefore, their questions and thoughts are similar?? :-) Anyway, keep blogging. I enjoy reading the posts.
Hopefully you can get your meds adjusted to get your sex drive back up. Not thinking about sex can be, well, boring and somewhat troubling. Good luck!
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