Only the Good Die Young
"I'm too old for this shit" the NCO thought to himself, shaking his head to try to clear the ringing from his ears and the tunnel vision from his eyes. The i.e.d. had detonated close to the humvee, lifting it and spinning it around. "ptang-tang-tang" he heard, as small caliber rounds impacted with the armor plating on his vehicle. "SKI! Light'em up! " he roared, smacking the thigh of his turret gunner, which was just inches away from his head. Hearing no response, no "Got it Sarge!", feeling no rocking vibrations from the huge M-2 .50cal firing, he leaned over to look up at his gunner. Seeing the lifeless body, the helmet and part of the top his head blown away by the explosion he screamed in his head, the rage building: "FUCK! SKI! NO! NOT SKI! HE'S JUST A FUCKING KID"
i got the idea from: http://sixsentences.blogspot.com/. Give it a try.
6 comments:
Wow, Sean excellent work. I really felt the pain of the NCO. Thanks
Very sad. You did a wonderful job of articulating the pain in only six sentences.
Wow. Intense.
Sean,
Excellent story. If you can make my guts/heart wrench in 6 sentences, you are GOOD.
Impacting for only being six sentances - you write wonderuflly...
Sholy hit, Dude. Compelling and riveting. I might try it. But mine will have kittens in it. (that get eaten by the cougar...heh-heh)
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